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Episode 5 – Junie
“I just had the best date!” Carla blurted out when she answered Evan’s call, then rolled over.
“So, that’s why you look like that. Damn. That man is lucky,” Evan said, his eyes were puffy and red.
“I do what I can. Are you okay?”
“Just a little tear gas. It’s been a long day, but I needed to see you.”
Carla looked at herself on the screen, the low cut of her dress. She thought of Junie’s first words to her and blushed.
“Don’t blush on my account. Just telling the truth.”
Carla resisted the urge to say something slick. Engaged.
“Would your fiancé approve of all these truths?” Carla said smiling.
Evan didn’t reply, but instead just stared back at her, seemingly taking all of her in. It felt like forever. Carla stopped smiling and bit her lip.
“Don’t,” she said. Engaged. Engaged. Engaged.
“Don’t what? Evan asked, then licked his lips, and added, “I can’t help it.”
Warmth spread through her body.
“More truths,” was all she could say.
Carla awoke to a dark room and phone. When she clicked on her screen, there were two messages – one from Junie and one from Evan. She bit her lip and opened Evan’s first. It was a screenshot of their call; she was knocked out, in her 10th dream, no doubt. She slapped an open palm into her forehead and laughed. Carla checked, but Evan wasn’t online so she opened Junie’s message.
Hope this isn’t too much, but I’m thinking of you this morning. Good morning, beautiful.
Carla fought back the urge to squeal and instead smiled and closed her eyes. She tried to conjure up Junie’s beautiful face, but it was Evan’s that she saw. The way he looked at her. Her eyes flew open. Carla opened the camera app in her phone, fixed her hair, pulled the covers up over her outfit from last night, and snapped a photo. She added the caption – I definitely will now – and sent it off. A few moments later he replied.
By the end of the day, they’d set their date for the upcoming weekend. Daydreams of their first kiss ensued. What I wouldn’t give? Carla was lonely. Her phone buzzed, but it wasn’t Junie as she’d hoped. Still, she was glad to have another friend. Her life was beginning to feel full again.
Evan’s message read - I have my date. I’ll be stateside in one month. Plz say you’ll see me.
Carla positioned herself in downward facing dog, then snapped a selfie and sent it to Evan and Junie. Then she sent an accompanying text to the former – I could never say no to that. Who knows? Maybe we’ll both have significant others to bring. Bubbles popped up then faded over and over, and Carla hoped he’d get back to her before her next class started. Finally, a message popped through – it was a voice note. Carla looked over her shoulder; no one yet. She pressed play.
“How about a double date later. I just need it to be us the first time. There’s so much I want to tell you. And…I need to take all of you in without the worried eyes of my fiancé or the jealous ones of your guy. I want to hug you like I haven’t seen you in person in ten years. Can you promise me that if they’re there?”
Beads of sweat gathered on the back of her neck. For as long as she could remember, she yearned to be needed like that. She never had that passion with Marcos. You don’t have it with Evan either. She shuffled through the library of therapy sessions in her head. Available men. Love yourself enough to give yourself a fighting chance. Don’t conflate loneliness and lust for love. Carla took several deep breaths. Footsteps sounded behind her. Chatting filled the room as her class filed in.
Carla spent the rest of class trying not to see Evan’s face when she closed her eyes. Close to the end of class, she’d finally managed to clear her mind. She showered, changed, and was headed out when she heard giggling in the lobby.
“I’m so happy to know the front desk of my gym is so much fun,” Carla said playfully as she approached the desk.
“They’re for you,” Ginger said.
Carla perked up. “You’re kidding,” she said as she plucked the card from the bouquet. The card read - Can’t wait for Friday. XO, Junie.
Carla and Ginger squealed in unison.
“I’m really glad you’re getting back out there,” Ginger said, then added, “now, spill the det’s.”
Carla showed Ginger Junie’s photos on the app, then spent 20 minutes telling Ginger every detail of their first date.
“Hot damn! And he’s already sending flowers.”
“I know, right? Oh crap. Is that the right time? Carla said and ran out to her car.
***
Carla wasn’t sure who was avoiding who, but she hadn’t spoken to Evan the rest of the week. She was glad to focus on Junie and their upcoming date, but as Carla got ready, it occurred to her that Evan might be embarrassed by his voice note. She decided to send one back. Carla agonized over the right words for too long. She had to meet Junie soon. Finally, she pressed record –
“Not sure why we haven’t talked all week, but I miss you. Your last message had me spinning for the rest of my classes. What if things…escalate? You have a fiancé. We’re ships in life, remember? I don’t know. Maybe we shouldn’t be alone together. There’s so much you don’t know about my past, and long story short – it doesn’t end well if we did something we’ll both regret.”
Carla hurriedly pressed send. She spent the rest of her time getting ready fighting off the idea that she wished it was Evan she was meeting. She also kept checking her phone for a response.
Carla spotted Junie as he walked toward the front of Chacko’s Bowling Alley. That man looks good in any damn thing. As if he could hear her thoughts, he turned and squinted in her direction. Carla waved and he smiled. Junie rushed forward and wrapped his arms around her. When he pulled away, he didn’t let her go. Carla looked down to hide her blush. Junie put his finger under her chin and lifted her head. He pushed a curl out of her face. His eyes drifted to her lips; she bit them.
Junie leaned forward then stopped, but Carla met his mouth with hers. His lips were soft and warm, and when he gently slipped his tongue into her mouth, her knees buckled. His grip tightened; Carla felt like she was melting. He caressed her tongue with his and just when she was about to lose her breath, he pulled away.
“I counted the seconds ‘til this moment,” he whispered.
A few hours into their date, Carla’s intrusive thoughts started.
“Penny for them? Sorry, that was weird. I always wanted to say that,” Junie said, chuckling.
“After that kiss, you can say almost anything you want. But I apologize, just trying to convince myself you’re not too good to be true. I’ve been through a lot these past few years,” Carla caught herself at the end.
“I mean – same – but I decided eff it. There’s a million things that could go wrong, but no risk means I could never experience all the things that could go right. Just be honest with me and we’ll be fine.”
Carla smiled nervously. Is it too early or too late to mention my lover killed my husband in a jealous rage?